I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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