marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
