Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
