non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
