:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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