The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
