So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
