don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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