There was a lot of him and a little penis
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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