This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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