did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
