She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My bed smells like the plague
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
