i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
