FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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