I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
