Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
