i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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