Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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