I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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