Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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