what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
