I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
