it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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