If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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