u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
