you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
