Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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