Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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