508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
