He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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