he thought i was a dude.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
