So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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