he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
