someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
