I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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