Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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