I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there was a trapeze. enough said
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
