Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
