She said her name was "party"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
