we made out on top of his cat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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