He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
