I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
