She went from zero to smokin in five shots
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
