I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
