please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
