hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
