I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
