Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
