GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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