he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
