omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
