I just pynch a tree in the face
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
