I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
