Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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