I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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