just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
