is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you had me at cake vodka
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
