From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
